Our middle child, Jack, he's eight, and pretty much the stereotypical middle child; not to say he is hard to get along with, it's just that he's a clown and jealous of his little brother, Louis, who is five.I met their mother, Anita in a bar during our college years in Fayetteville, Arkansas. (Go Razorbacks!) We loved going to the games and boy, did we have fun. She was smart and funny, and could make me laugh so hard that every time I went to take a drink, I'd wind up spitting it through my nose, or aspirating. She'd laugh, and it became a game to her which she always seemed to win.She was the love of my life, and when I lost her, my world changed in more ways than I ever expected.That was three weeks ago, and it seems that time just stopped that day. My kids are grieving, but I think they're doing better than I am; at least right now.I've always heard people say that kids are resilient, but I'm not a big believer of that piece of shit theory. Sorry, but cliches like that piss me. At first I was alwayshungry but after a week or two my stomach shrank and I got full real easy.As I said after I had tanned, about 10 days after we arrived, my penis haddiminished to about 2 inches. But, so had my sac, it had shrunk as welland was very tight unlike some of the porno films I had seen what theycalled 'transgendered.' In those films most of them had pretty big penisand the sac sagged (guess from the hormones). I felt even more inadequatewhen I remembered having seen those films at the peep shows (before thiswhole thing happened.)And then John (I only have to call them Sir when I talking to them.They'll never read my diary. Would they?) told the other men one night,right in front of me, "Forget the girl shit, she's a great piece of asswith the best cunt mouth I've ever known. I almost don't give a damn if weare rescued. I've never gotten so many blowjobs if you add all of them Ihad before we wrecked here. And, I don't have to chit chat with her.Fantastic!" And with that.
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